| eh. |
[16 Apr 2009|12:38am] |
So, I decided to resurrect my livejournal.
Mostly because I miss the mindless crap I used to write here, and everyone who is my friend on here I don't even talk to anymore. Not really purposely. I guess that just happens.
So here is news about me.
I quit my management job at Delia's. Which in retrospect wasn't that smart because I was making bank. I felt everyone was way too uptight there, and it wasn't really my style. To be honest I'm much happier. Plus, I found out the people there didn't really give a shit about me in the first place.
Now I work just as a regular associate at H&M. The pay isn't awful but I only get 15 hours a week. Everyone is super nice! It is really difficult to have no money and see pretty clothes and things I want, but I deal.
Also, I'm especially poor because I just signed a lease on an apartment downtown. I have roomates who are pretty awesome. And married. We'll see how that all pans out...
I think next winter I'm going to be going back to school, for film editing. I think it would be cool to put together movies, or music videos...who knows.
I just wanna go to school.
Um, I love my cats.
That's pretty much it.
|
|
|
[24 Sep 2007|12:38am] |
One of my closest friends and ex boyfriend Dirk Eberspeaker passed away in his sleep last night.
I just wanted to send out a bulletin to inform everyone who knew him, who may not find out otherwise.
I'm not doing too well.
rest in peace. i love you.
|
|
| zombie |
[10 Sep 2007|07:19pm] |
why do I have to be so fucking in love with you?
|
|
| huzzah! |
[27 Aug 2007|05:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
silent civilian |
] |
I just found out that I'm going to be an aunt. This is super secret news, but all of you are unaffliated with my brother so I figured it would be okay to share. Besides, it's not a secret that won't come out eventually....literally. heh =) I have to admit I'm not a baby person, as a matter of fact I think all babies are annoying and look the same. I guess it's comforting to realize that I am very excited about this kid....makes me feel like a decent human being.
|
|
| the good news |
[29 Jun 2007|11:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 determined |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
elastica |
] |
I ended my addiction.
And to be sure I don't make the same mistake again, I'm moving to Rochester, New York on Monday.
I'm starting a new life. FOR MYSELF.
From this point on I will not feel guilty about being completely selfish, telling people straight up what bothers me, and I will NOT SETTLE in relationships or in general.
Bye.
|
|
| why an xl cannibal corpse shirt is the most fashionable thing I own. |
[15 Jun 2007|04:06am] |
You brought your dirty clothes over to use my laundry machine, & you had to go to work before the dryer was done. Your shirts & jeans & wifebeaters are now in a pile on my bedroom floor. In the past couple days, I've worn them about, just to run errands, like mailing bills or getting groceries...as if that we lived together, & that was the closest thing I could find to put on in a rush. It's funny because I'm living that fantasy. Sadly, I'm sure you woulden't find this habit quite as endearing as I do.
I'm going to wash them again, before I give them back.
I'm sure you woulden't mind, but I don't want you to know.
I've been jerked around on a choke chain for almost a year now.
I'm starting to think I'll never end this addiction, and I'll never get control.
|
|
| MIA |
[07 Jun 2007|12:10am] |
I'm more confused than I've ever been. Mostly because this tiny time has been jam fucking packed with 49534589 life changing decisions that I'm being forced to make, regarding my brain, heart, future, & general well being. Although I'd like to say "fuck everyone" & just do what makes me happy, maybe me doing the things that make me (momentarily) happy is like putting a band-aid on a bullet hole. It makes it easy to ignore the problem but does nothing to fix it. The saying "it has to get worse to get better" is the most kick-you-in-the-ass truth ever. I hate that saying, basically because I hate being wrong, almost more than I hate not being able to take the easy way out. I've been making excuses for so long that the lines of good & evil are completely blurred.
So, I'm stumbling over myself, blind, trying to find my way when everyone is shouting out different directions, like some derranged game of marco polo.
...I just want to find my friend & get the fuck out of the pool.
|
|
| Things you don't want to know. |
[30 May 2007|02:23pm] |
This morning I had a papsmear. Yep. Got fingered by large metal expanding objects & middle aged women. When I left the clinic the doctor told me to "have a good day" to which I joked, "well It's all downhill from here"
I supposed having a early morning pseudo-molestation would ensure a pleasant afternoon. But lo & behold, I recieve a phone call that the love of my life (who is finally back in my life) is 1.) being pursued by the grand rapids police department 2.) probably going to jail for a long time.
& I thought the paper dress was bad.
=/
|
|
| mad shirt making skillz |
[17 May 2007|12:46am] |
Here's what a day off work,$30, & a really strange sense of humor gets you....
Making shirts of my friends inside jokes is way too amusing to me. haha. I'm sure it's not half as funny as I think it is, but wearing these shirts all day has put us in a perpetual good mood, Everytime we see each other we can't help but laugh.
|
|
|
[10 May 2007|09:51pm] |
|
sarah degram all day today my fingers have been feeling all weird like and I keep looking at them just to make sure my flesh isn't eating itself. I'm only posting this because I can't comment on your page without seeing that god forsaken thing again. ew.
|
|
| much needed vacation |
[09 May 2007|03:07pm] |
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Northwest Airlines # 121
Grand Rapids Kent County Intl (GRR) to Minneapolis St Paul Intl (MSP)
Departure (GRR): July 19, 7:00 AM EDT (morning)
Arrival (MSP): July 19, 7:24 AM CDT (morning)
Class: Economy
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Northwest Airlines # 311
Minneapolis St Paul Intl (MSP) to Los Angeles International (LAX)
Departure (MSP): July 19, 7:54 AM CDT (morning)
Arrival (LAX): July 19, 9:41 AM PDT (morning)
Class: Economy
--------------------------------
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Northwest Airlines # 334
Los Angeles International (LAX) to Detroit Wayne County (DTW)
Departure (LAX): July 24, 12:35 PM PDT (afternoon)
Arrival (DTW): July 24, 8:10 PM EDT (evening)
Class: Economy
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Northwest Airlines # 481
Detroit Wayne County (DTW) to Grand Rapids Kent County Intl (GRR)
Departure (DTW): July 24, 10:39 PM EDT (evening)
Arrival (GRR): July 24, 11:22 PM EDT (evening)
Class: Economy
I'm pretty pumped about flying into LAX, maybe I'll see lindsay lohan hungover or something.
|
|
| you fondle my trigger, & you blame my gun |
[08 May 2007|01:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
I just realized how long I've had that userpic up, it's at least 3 years old, & I'm holding a ping pong paddle like it's cool or something. (in case you were wondering what the mysterious red orb was) I guess I don't really care.
Lately I've been in Grand Rapids all the time. My house in Grand Haven is in the process of being sold & I will be without a place to live in about a month & a half. I'm moving into my friend Randy's house, to a room in his unfinished basement. He lives off 36th & Division. At least the rent will be cheap (non existant) in exchange for doing their dishes. I'm sad about having to leave my lovely jail-cell painted room behind. At least my bright red furniture will survive.
I think I'm transferring to the 54th street Meijer, until I find a job elsewhere. Grand Rapids is like a ex-friend/boyfriend graveyard & I hate being on display in public places where I can see ghosts. I feel like Cinderella working there. Not the fabulous princess part, but the part where a girl with potential for greatness is doing slave work for overindulgent idiots.
You know what silly girl thing I do that I don't understand....?
Whenever I'm in a situation where I know I'm going to run into an ex boyfriend's new girlfriend, I want look good & be fast on my wit. For some reason I get concerned about it, even if I don't care about the guy anymore. It makes no sense. Am I alone in this one..? Probably.
Roger is taking me to Mongolian Barbeque tonight & I've been starving myself all day to make sure I can enjoy it fully. I paid all of my bills that were due this month. I also got new glasses/contacts today, for much cheaper than I thought. I have sooo many things planned for this summer already including Cedar Point, kayaking, jet skiing, camping, going to southern California & a bunch of shows I hope I have the money/time off for. So, things aren't that bad, really.
( pictures )
|
|
| haha |
[11 Apr 2007|11:47pm] |
Untilshadowscast: i just wanna make music
Untilshadowscast: and drink
Untilshadowscast: and smoke
Untilshadowscast: and .....
Untilshadowscast: i guess anything else cool along the way
hot atomic rock: yeah evertying except the smoking, thats pretty much all I have figured out about life yet haha
Untilshadowscast: yeah thats right you malfunction when u smoke huh
hot atomic rock: malfunction is a very good word for it
hot atomic rock: I either pretend I'm a farm animal or fall asleep.
|
|
|
[17 Mar 2007|12:00pm] |
|
because I rock
|
|
|
[24 Feb 2007|04:01pm] |
Last Friday, Lara, Miss Shela & I went to Harpo's in Detroit to see It Dies Today & Kill Hannah.
Little did we know until the night before, the fabulous band that was headlining this tour was PAPA ROACH.
bahahahhahahahaha.
Anyways it was a good time, some dude gave us backstage passes because we're hot (naturally).
All backstage passes really mean is "I get free beer and you don't"
afterwards we went back to Ann Arbor to the 8 ball and caused chaos as usual.
Harpos
( #^%$%^$ )
|
|
| fuck west michigan. |
[24 Feb 2007|02:40pm] |
So, I am really irritated.
Most of you know that for the past 6 months I've been told I'm moving to upstate New York with my Dad & starting a new life out there. I was planning on living there at his house and then soon on my own.
Well, we were supposed to move a month ago, and we haven't even sold our house yet. I really want to leave now. My dad already works and lives in an apt. in New York but hasn't signed the housing forms. I live with his unemployed girlfriend who really gets on my nerves, and can't get a job because she's fixing the house up to be sold.
I feel like I'm in limbo. I know that I'm moving, so I can't go anywhere with my life right now. I can't go to school or get a new job, I even feel bad starting new friendships. Not to mention I just went through a really painful breakup with my brothers best friend so I would like to get as far away from that situation as possible. Being anywhere near him burns me. I can't deal with knowing what he's up to or who he's dating. I just want to start a new life, meet new people, and start doing things to better myself for once.
This is such a good oppurtunity, when is it finally going to start?
|
|
|
[04 Feb 2007|09:24pm] |
My cat is planning a basement mouse genocide.
Late at night I'll hear a low growl & he brings me a mouse, like an offering.
|
|
| are the words "fuck me over" written on my forehead? |
[31 Jan 2007|03:51pm] |
Yesterday night my boyfriend told me at a party that he never really loved me he just said that all the time because he thought it made me happy, that he could never love anyone, and on top of all that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me anymore. He then spent the entire night avoiding me telling me he needed to be alone, I spent the night having a huge fit, crying and everyone having to wipe my face off. This morning when I woke up he was gone.
Apparently after buying everything for his unemployed ass, driving him around everywhere, giving him my booze & cigarettes, giving him sex whenever he wanted even though he has a very small penis and lasts (seriously) about a minute and a half & doesn't reciprocate oral(I was kind enough never to say anything), making sure I looked nice for him, making him food all the time, LETTING HIM WALK ALL OVER ME....
that's what I get....nothing.
Not even worth a gratified breakup.
& the worst part is, he won't feel a thing.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
lexi_sucks_ass's journal
moody